


Me ok

by peachesatmidnight



Series: 3223 [11]
Category: Charmie - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Gen, Inner Dialogue, M/M, outter thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 14:10:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18812512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachesatmidnight/pseuds/peachesatmidnight
Summary: I was on a bit of a road trip and felt a bit angsty. So this happened.It is one shot of a bigger plot.





	Me ok

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ariasheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariasheart/gifts).



> I was on a bit of a road trip and felt a bit angsty. So this happened. 
> 
> It is one shot of a bigger plot.

It had been months since he’d posted anything on his socials. Surely no one would care. He was just the kid who fucked the peach.   
Nothing special. He is always getting on Armies case for putting himself down, but that’s because Armie is special. He is gorgeous and strong. Talented beyond belief, but himself? 

He was just Tim. It made his heart hurt in the best way when he got the card from the fan who gathered support from peaches all around to donate to the causes near and dear to his heart. They didn’t do it for him though. They did it because of the movie. Beautiful Boy had been completely different than Call me by your name, but the key points were the same. Just so happens those points were the amazing time he had been able to spend with Armie.

He still had no idea why the man put up with him. It’s been three years, and sure, he was older and more experienced now, but in Armies eyes he would always be that kid he met and pretended to fall for in Italy. That’s all it ever was. A fantastic game of make believe. He’d grown up with bullying and negativity in school and just learned to deal with it. The constant whispers of he’s too skinny, he had too much hair, and too many freckles. He just wasn’t enough. He eventually began to believe it was true. Sure, his fans had been great, but it had been so long since he’d interacted with the public, he was sure they’d forgotten about the curly haired kid from Hell’s Kitchen. He didn’t even bother looking at sites like tumblr anymore. They were always filled with tin hat conspiracy theories and assumptions about his relationship with Armie, that he spent too much time desperately wishing were true. 

He would give anything to be the one Armie picked, but that simply wasn’t going to happen. He had to accept it and move on. Sure! No problem!! He’d just move on from the love of his life that could never be. He had hoped being cooped up on location would let him move on, and forget everything Hammer. Of course it worked wonderfully!!!  
Until it didn’t!!!

That fateful night when his Armie alert had dinged. Well, technically it was the wife alert that he had set up on his phone. Apparently he was a glutton for punishment. 

The video of Armie sitting on the plane beside her was almost too much to bear. As he sat alone in his little room, he desperately wished they were headed his way. He wanted Armie to come and tell him everything would be alright. Of course, that was a bunch of bullshit, because the man was happily married with 2 kids. Timmy was just a lonely kid from Hell’s Kitchen who was good at playing pretend. 

When he watched the videos, he felt a sharp pain in his heart. He could tell Armie was high. He knew the signs very well from all the late and hazy nights in Crema, where Armie had taken pity on the kid and offered to smoke up with him.   
He knew that if asked about it, Armie would just claim to have taken a pill to calm his nerves before takeoff. Only someone who has seen the most vulnerable part of the man, would be able to tell. He was hiding in plain sight. Maybe he was hurting just as much as Tim was. But thanks to her, the evidence was plastered all over social media, much like the man himself. Plastered which had now become his default state for self preservation. Just in time for the world to judge and pretend that they knew the truth. 

How could strangers know the truth when he didn’t even know himself. He sent out a quick text just to check in and got no reply. Not that he figured he would, because she was there. Maybe he could just stop. Just disappear into the desert. Fade into the background like he had done all his life. 

This thought process had driven him to the mini bar the night before and when Brian came knocking on his door at the ass crack of dawn claiming his fans wanted him, he wanted to laugh in his face. Then he wanted to cry. It couldn’t really be real. Could it? Brian made him get dressed and get his ass in gear. They were expected at the cast brunch. He had already been snapped by a fan while he was having dinner with Rebecca and that had caused fans to speculate.   
Was he under a gag order for the film, or was he just being antisocial.? Josh and Jason were not helping on that front, as they kept posting on social media. 

Brian informed him the fans were getting restless. It’s not that he didn’t want to believe it, but he still had a feeling in his gut that it was all just a big mistake. Beautiful Boy had not been well received and his other films were still under wraps, they hadn’t seen his latest work and they would probably hate it. 

Hiding out from social media and the public was his form of self preservation. They can’t mock what they don’t see. 

As he and Brian walked down the street he got the text from Armie, assuring him all was good and not to worry. Because it’s a well known fact that when you tell someone not to worry it’s just a simple flip of the switch to go from Eeyore to Mary fucking Poppins!!!   
He had shoved the phone back in his pocket and tried to concentrate on what his agent was saying, when he felt the phone vibrate. Pulling it out to check was probably one of the best worst decisions he’d ever made!

The text of course was from Armie. His Armie. And it contained 4 small words that would surely be his undoing. 

I miss your face. 

He wouldn’t allow himself to break down and post his own image, but he needed to make the man, the man his heart beat for, happy as much as he needed air to breathe. Eventually his heart won out over his self deprecation and he asked Brian to snap a pic to send to Armie.

Moments later as he was sitting down for brunch, he heard the alert on his insta. Brian had posted the picture without his permission.  
It was for the fans he said. They miss you! They want to make sure you haven’t been eaten by camels!  
It was like playing 2 truths and a lie, too bad none of them were true. Brian had captioned the picture, Reflection. To which Tim scoffed. “They don’t care. You know they don’t. “  
“They do!” Said Brian, “More than you know. And I know you Timothée, maybe better than you know yourself.”  
Well wasn’t that the icing on the deception cake, which made him chuckle despite himself. 

Cake, bakery, Armie. Anything and everything lead back to him. The man who knew him better than he knew himself. His own personal Armie. Army? Army uniform?? Armie IN uniform???Armie OUT of uniform!!! Armies perfect form. Just hand me the fucking forms, I’ll commit myself!!

“What forms are you talking about Tim? I lost you somewhere in this conversation!” Brian remarks.   
Lost? I wish I was lost... in his eyes, his smile, his embrace.   
Oh god his arms..... my Armz, my Armie. Mine!  
“Wait what?? What’s mine?”Brian says.  
“Fine, I said I’m fine!” Timmy snaps!

And when he got the next text he thought maybe, just maybe. Brian was right. The text this time only contained 2 words, and one question.

You ok?

He felt the stinging in his eyes as he typed back his reply. His bold faced lie that wouldn’t even make Shifman bat an eye! But it was still a lie he secretly hoped he would get called out for. 

Me ok.

**Author's Note:**

> Working on a second first part... I swear it will almost make sense in the end


End file.
